The Missing Piece in Every Mindset Framework
The nervous system secret that makes or breaks real change
Prefer to listen? Here’s the audio version by Jon:
I spent years trying to teach myself a growth mindset.
I’d read the research. Take notes. Feel inspired.
Then I’d try to apply it, and nothing would change.
I’d freeze before important presentations.
Stare at an empty page when I had an urgent report to write.
Stay silent in meetings when I had something useful to say.
I understood the concepts. I wanted to change. But when the moment came, when it actually mattered I’d revert right back to my old patterns.
For a long time, I thought this was a motivation problem.
It wasn’t.
It was a body problem.
The fatal flaw in traditional mindset work
Here’s what most mindset approaches miss:
Your mindset doesn’t live in your thoughts. It lives in your nervous system.
When you’re about to do something that feels risky; give a presentation, share your work, have a difficult conversation, start something new your body reacts first.
Before you have a single conscious thought, your nervous system is already making a decision:
‘Is this safe, or is this a threat?’
If it decides ‘threat,’ your body contracts:
Your shoulders tense
Your chest feels tight
Your stomach contracts
Your breath gets shallow
I call this state Protective Mode, a temporary state in which you prioritise safety over possibility.
And then your thoughts follow:
‘People will judge me’
‘I’m not ready for this’
‘I’m going to mess this up’
Traditional mindset work tries to change the thoughts. But the thoughts are just the symptom. The body made the decision first.
It’s why you can intellectually understand a growth mindset but still feel stuck.
You’re trying to override a nervous system response with logic. And your nervous system will win every time.
What happens when you ignore the body
Without addressing the nervous system piece, mindset work creates a painful cycle:
You learn the ‘right’ way to think:
You try to apply it in a real moment → Your body contracts → Old thought patterns flood back → You feel like you’ve failed → You conclude you’re ‘just not a growth mindset person’
The real problem? You were never taught to work with your body’s signals.
So you experience:
Perfectionism: You can’t move forward until it’s ‘ready’
Imposter syndrome: No amount of success seems to fix it
Creative blocks: The ideas are there, but access feels locked
Invisible pressure: Even small tasks feel harder than they should
Chronic hesitation: You know what to do, but can’t get yourself to start
You’re not lazy, you’re not unmotivated, you’re definitely not broken.
Your nervous system is doing precisely what it’s designed to do: protect you. The problem is, it’s protecting you from things that aren’t actually dangerous.
The cost of living in Protective Mode
When your nervous system stays in a state of protection, it affects everything.
In your work:
You play it safe
You avoid tough challenges
You overthink simple decisions
⠀In your creative life:
You stick with what you know
You start projects but don’t finish them
You keep re-editing until you feel ‘ready’
⠀In your relationships:
You people-please to avoid conflict
You don’t say what you actually need
You second-guess yourself constantly
This isn’t just uncomfortable. It’s expensive.
It costs you opportunities, growth and relationships.
What changes when you work with your nervous system
When you understand how your body and mindset work together, several things change.
You notice the shift earlier. Instead of realising you’re stuck after 20 minutes of spiralling, you catch it in the first few seconds. Harsh thoughts lose their authority once you recognise them as a defensive reaction, not reality.
Mistakes stop being identity threats. A mistake becomes information, not proof that you’re inadequate.
You start to build real confidence in your worth.
Why this approach is different
The traditional ‘fixed vs. growth mindset’ approach is primarily mind oriented, focused on beliefs and thought patterns.
So it often overlooks the physiological state that underlies those beliefs. When your nervous system is in a state of protection, even the most empowering belief may not feel accessible.
I’ve built my mindset approach from the ground up. I’ve distilled this work into a free email course called:
Mindset Unlocked: From I can’t to I can
Learn the skills for an Open Mindset in 5 days.
In this course, I’m integrating both a top-down (mind) and bottom-up (nervous system) approach, recognising that mindset is shaped by how safe you feel in the moment and your thoughts. Each lesson takes about 5-10 minutes and each day gives you a practice to develop your skills. By the end you will have practical tools to help you build a more resilient, more open mindset.
You’ll learn how to stop freezing when the pressure’s on, quiet the voice of imposter syndrome and perfectionism, and finally get moving on the things you’ve been avoiding.
Sign up for the free 5-day Mindset course here