Start here
Welcome. If you’re new to The Self Unlocked, these posts will give you a strong foundation in the topics I explore.
See your life clearly
Start with the Wheel of Life, a simple visual tool that shows which areas of your life need attention most.
> Get Unstuck with the Wheel of Life
Know what you value
Your values guide every choice you make. They're the principles you won't compromise, the beliefs you hold strongest, and the lines you won't cross. Without clarity on what matters most to you, you risk chasing the wrong goals. This article shows you how to identify your core values.
> The Compass in the Storm: Finding Direction When Focus Fails
Understand your nervous system
Your nervous system shapes how you react to everything. When you recognise your state, you stop identifying so completely with your reactions. You begin responding to life with more presence, compassion, and choice.
> How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Reactions and Your Reality
To go deeper, explore the four hidden body-mind systems that steer your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
> Beyond the 5 Senses: The 4 Hidden Systems that Shape How You Feel, Think, and React
Build self-worth
Without self-worth, nothing you do feels good enough. You chase external validation to fill an inner void. Self-worth is the deep, unconditional belief that you matter simply because you exist. This article offers practical tools to help you develop yours.
> If You Don’t Believe You Matter, Nothing’s Ever Enough
Set boundaries with yourself
Boundaries start within. Often, we cross our own boundaries before anyone else does. Strengthening internal boundaries through small, consistent acts of self-respect creates the foundation for stronger external boundaries, healthier relationships, and a more grounded sense of self.
> The Most Important Boundaries You’ll Ever Set
Shift your mindset
Real change isn’t just about thinking differently, it’s about feeling safe in your body. Traditional mindset work fails because it overlooks the nervous system. Mindset is physiological, not just mental. True transformation happens when you address both.
> The Missing Piece in Every Mindset Framework
To go deeper I’ve distilled my approach to help you develop a more open mindset into a free 5 day email course: signup for Mindset Unlocked: From I can’t to I can ↗️
Make goals that stick
Goals often fail not from lack of motivation, but because they trigger unconscious identity fears rooted in your nervous system’s need for safety. By working with, rather than against, your inner protective patterns, you can build sustainable habits and growth from a grounded, self-aligned place.
> Why Your Goals Break Down
Step beyond your comfort zone
Growth requires challenge. But push too far, and you’ll send yourself into the stressed-out panic zone. This article explains a technique to find just the right level of discomfort, enough to stretch yourself without breaking.
> Learning to Live at the Edge of What Feels Safe
Quick tools for anxiety and stress
When anxiety hits, try the disidentification exercise, a 5-minute practice that creates distance between you and your thoughts.
> You’re Not Your Anxiety: A 5-Minute Practice for Finding Stillness in the Storm
Or use box breathing to calm your system when stress takes over.
>The Breath That Brings You Back to Centre